Taking Back the Color of Our Lips

2:48AM

break my fingers
on cold steering wheels
her essence has saturated this part of town
Shouldn't be bothered but
it breaks my fingers
to carry these dreams
i crumble beneath god's weight
As my breath dances in the frozen air
i'll be sure to give thanks
for these broken fingers
they make me feel alive

10:54PM

You Are a Liberal for Life

You've got a bleeding heart - and you're proud of it. For you, liberal means being compassionate, pro-government, and anti-business. You believe in equality for every person, and you consider yourself universally empathetic. Helping others is not just political for you ... it's very personal too.

10:17AM

I'm meeting Billy Corgan today.

11:55PM

I think I might start updating this thing, and with legitimate entries instead of the BS that most of them have been thus far. I just don't want to neglect any real writing, but if I write in this one I know I'm going to censor what I say. So... what's the point then? We'll see.

Race the Sun is having a cd release party this Friday. I think I might go on the sole fact that Daniel (their singer) is just about the nicest guy I've ever met. They played a Food Not Bombs show I arranged, and one of the bands that played, Patent Pending, were good friends with them. Daniel gave them their cut from the door, not remembering it was a benifet show, and when I asked him for it (not knowing what he'd done) he refused to ask them for it back. They're from NY, and needed money to get home. Instead, he went to the ATM and got money from his personal savings to reimberce me despite my many refusals. He actually tried to give me $40 more than what was missing, but I wouldn't take the extra.

I hope they go far and do really well, they deserve it.

I'm either cursed, or the rest of the world is in on a huge inside joke. Tonight the 3rd friend I've tried to make here at school stood me up for plans. I called her 20 minutes after she said she would call me, and she was at the fucking state fair. She didn't forget we were supposed to be hanging out or anything, she didn't really have an explanation. Said she'd call at 8:30... (she didn't) I call her at 10:30... and they were just leaving the fair. What IS it with people, that I'm so easy to cast aside? I don't think that it's asking too much in a friendship for someone to keep plans that they made days in advance.

3:56AM

I don't know how many of you guys got a chance to meet him, but my grandfather died last Friday around 5:45 pm. Over 400 people showed up to the memorial service... it was really something.

12:43AM

What a horrible, horrible feeling this is.

3:13AM

Don't worry, I'm still alive. More or less.

9:49PM

1. What is your favorite book? the perks of being a wallflower
2. What is your favorite name for a boy? I'm not sure
3. Yield signs... good or pointless? good

1. What happened to your last most meaningful relationship? dont ask
2. What five words most accuratley characterize you? I just need one, me
3. 15 years; are you "old enough" or "too young" at that age? 21 means 21 haha
1. Favorite color? black or red
2. Any siblings? 2 sisters
3. How are things w/ the love life going? dont ask


Time: 9:54 pm
Listening to: the grey album by Danger Mouse
Random word(s) of the day: the word random is rarely used accurately so I'm not going to answer this in protest.
What are your thoughts on abortion? pro choice but damn its nasty
What do you think about reincarnation? yeah why not
Should religion be in schools? hell fucking no
Is there anything morally wrong with the society we live in? yeah GW is in office
Should marijuana be legalized? despite my hatred for it yes, the war on drugs is a huge waste of money. people want to get fucked up and they're going to
What are your favorite tv shows? Chapeeelle
Do you read any magazines? AP is ok
Do you want to be famous? eh
Read the newspaper? online
If you could only listen to one cd forever, which would it be? Live - Mental Jewelry
What do you think of boybands? they do a disservice to the word band
Is Eminem a musical genius, or a jerk? he's talented but he's full of shit
Ever hear of New Found Glory? its hard to find someone who hasnt
What do you listen to when you’re sad? music
What do you think of Britney? I'm glad to see such a positive influence for the youth of our country
Who really rocks musically? brand new embrace minor threat tom petty give up the ghost alkaline trio black flag johnny cash five iron frenzy afi and crucial A of course

11:18AM

Kenny: I kind of feel like listening to Dave Matthews.
Mike: I kind of feel like slapping the complete fucking shit out of you.

12:00PM

I need to start charging people for tech support. A floormate popped his head in the door and asked if either of us were good with computers, I said yes, and 4 hours later I finally got his machine functioning properly. He had maybe 6 viruses, and they would close msconfig and regedit as soon as you tried to access them. All the while I was also doing psychology homework - talk about a long day.

Fewer and fewer people show up to psychology class now. I'll admit its hard to find the motivation to 1: go and 2: stay for 3 hours, but if I'm going to major in psych then I should start putting more effort in the class.

I think Friday or Saturday I'm going job hunting. I need one like nobody's business. I also realized with the money I have saved, I could have 3 months rent (the summer) paid without working at all. So if I got a job I wouldn't even have to worry about it all that much. I'm suddenly feeling a lot better about my current situation, and thats in reference to everything.

11:26PM

Oh man. Everyone go to the DTN show on Thursday. It's going to be tight.

4:45PM

Mike Dean is in the blue shirt. This shit is tight.

http://www.as13.com/misc/vcusampler.mov

1:17PM

Wow. I don't know if anyone else goes to the VCU livejournal but things have gotten kind of rediculous. I posted a similar post about the day of silence (like the one below) only with more of an explanation. Within 24 hours there have been over 165 replies, and if you ask me its gotten out of hand. Those who are defending it and those who are ruthlessly attacking it both are resorting to name-calling and generalizations about each other (activists are whiney and don't really do anything, everyone who opposes it is a homophobic bigot). I wish a real debate like this could occur with a mediator so that name-calling wouldn't be an issue, not to mention people couldn't get so self-righteous. If there's a disagreement, its an instant attack on that person, not their belief. I bet when it came to other issues, some of those people might be the closest allies in a debate, or if they met on the street there wouldn't be so much hostility. It's rediculous, really.

I guess my point is I never anticipated all of that. Damn.

Anyway, I think I've finally determined a major. I was talking to a friend last night who got into a screaming match with her dad, and when we were done talking she told me I should be a therapist. She's not the 1st to say it, but she IS the 1st to say it in a very long time. I think I would have been more motivated in the past few years to actually persue it if it wasn't for Caitlin and all of that insanity. That experience may make me a stronger person, but it wasn't worth the price of admission.

Class time.

Current mood: tired

Current music: Scholastic Deth - The Revolution Will Not Be Posted on Ebay

8:45AM

Update time, just because its been awhile. Is anyone else hating registering for classes? I need to decide on a major soon or else my schedule will be nothing but bullshit. Which would be fine, if it wasn't such expensive bullshit.

If anyone is interested, this Wednesday (April 21st) is the National Day of Silence (http://www.dayofsilence.org). Apparently there's going to be a speaker later that night when everyone is supposed to break the silence and they're going to discuss prejudice. I'm looking forward to it.

8:08PM

So I just bought a shit load of records. 19 to be exact, including the new Saves the Day album for $4 and Johnny Cash IV - The Man Comes Around. Vinyl rules.

8:41AM

We'll rise with the sun and shoot across the southern sky with just as much conviction. I can spare nine hundred dollars and a broken heart, they should last us a couple months. She sees need and fear and hurt but when you're going this fast all you can see is the road ahead of you. We'll go far away from this city and its dismal sky. We'll go far away from this life and it's dead imagination. We'll go far away from ourselves and everything will be ok.

1:05PM

Stole this from Aaron.....

Pick a band and answer using only their lyrics:

My pick: Give Up The Ghost

01. Are you male or female?
I'm just a boy letting go of his heart.


02. Describe yourself:
I'm a boat of false hope, lost at sea. Today, tonight, tomorrow, I am truly by myself.


03. How do people feel about you?
no one listens, and no one cares.

04. How do you feel about yourself?
There's nothing left inside of me.

05. How do you feel about your boyfriend/girlfriend/interest?:
The feeling I'm feeling is a feeling I've felt for far too long.

06. What would you rather be doing?
Sleeping like there's no tomorrow.

07. Describe how you live:
I only die every fucking day. Sit alone count the no's of the yesterdays.


08. Describe how you feel about love:
Why do you always break on me?

09. Any closing statements?:
I quit. I quit. i fucking quit.

9:42PM

Miami ruled. So did Key West. Round trip: 2,254.2 miles. Word.

6:31PM

Greetings from Miami. We go to Key West tomorrow. The food is awesome, the weather is perfect, and there's a lot to do.

Mike's sister has 3 friends down from VA, too, so its 6 of us not counting her roommate, Annameika. The best part so far was the conversation about straight edge:

Natalie - Oh my god, you guys are straight edge?? *sips beer* Why?
Mike - I hate being drunk.
Natalie - *fits of laughter* Oh man I loooove being drunk!

and then later...

Alicia - Hey will it bother you if we smoke a blunt?
Me - I'll just go outside or in another room, I don't really feel like getting any 2nd hand weed smoke.
Alicia - So straight edge means you can't smoke weed?

Haha. It's fine, though. I think Mike and I are the only 2 people within a 50 mile radius that don't get fucked up. It's a party city, though, so I'm not surprised.

2:11AM

It's 2 am, Thursday night. This time on Saturday I will be half way to Miami. Rock.